The Theif Of Panties
by Alice Harkey
Summary: Natsu just might die if Lucy catches him running off with her underwear again. Rated T for VERY strong language! Enjoy!


**AN/: just a short story that I thought up. Some ideas may kind if be barrowed so sorry if I upset anyone about that. This is rated T for VERY strong language. I even considered putting it at M because I drop the "F" bomb quite a few times in here. Be warned but enjoy at your own risk! XD **

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"Natsu?"

"Yeah, Luce?"

"... What do you think you're doing?"

"... HAPPY IS SCRATCHING UP YOUR COUCH!"

He bolted, no, swan dived out of my bedroom window! I walked over to my window to glare at his retreating figure. I ground my teeth a bit and pursed my lips, then gave up and heaved a sigh.

"What pair did he steal this time?" I asked myself opening the top drawer of my dresser where I kept my 'unmentionables'.

"I hate him so much!" I yelled slamming the drawer shut. The next five minutes of my life were filled with lots of imaginary bleeps and boops as every profanity I knew spewed from my mouth in a fiery rage drawn straight from the deepest pits of hell.

(~_~') {my god Natsu! Dumbass!

"Okay! Where the fuck is that good for nothing, PINK haired, rotten, disgusting, dumb ass, son of a bitch?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs when I slammed the guild doors open. The whole guild froze and stared wide eyes.

"Natsu fucking Dragneel, if you don't get your pathetic ass over here in ten seconds I will impale you with a chainsaw katana to the side of a MOVING train, and that's where you'll stay!"

Then he was standing right in front of me. His face was a pale green and he was sweating so badly that Happy was taking a shower in the stuff as it poured off of him. I drop kicked the stupid cat away. That was nasty! And he actually DID scratch up my couch.

"Fess up you perv! Where are they?" I demanded an answer. I jabbed my finger into his chest.

"W-what do y-you mean?" I kneed him in the balls, assuming that it shouldn't hurt him too badly. He dropped to the floor in pain and groaned and writhed.

"Oh, I didn't think that would hurt you so much. I honestly didn't think you'd have balls considering the fact that you've been stealing my underwear for the past week like some stupid little kid!"

Everyone gasped and they stared at Natsu in astonishment.

"You stole every single pair of my underwear! AND YOU TOOK MY BRAS!" He just groaned some more and pitifully looked up at me. "I might have to go around bra-less and panty-less until I either get them back or buy new ones!"

I heard some of the guys mutter things like, "Oh god, thank you Natsu, and, "A worthy sacrifice, my boy."

Natsu coughed and started to speak.

"Totally worth it," he said in a strangled voice still curled up in a ball cupping himself protectively.

"You're sick!" I screamed down at his face. "Where are they!?" Natsu tried to get up. He cringed when he moved his legs and seemed to have a hard time breathing.

"At my place." He took a gasp of air. "I can explain, really." He held his hands out in front if him defensively.

"Really? You can explain why you stole my underwear and bras and took them to your house?"

"Yeah, I can," he said still panting for breath. "And I also could've explained why everything else in your house was gone if I'd gotten around to doing it."

"Why you-!"

"Ya know that extension I've been working on putting on my house?"

"What does that have to do with-!"

"It's for you!"

"... What?"

"That extension is for you. I was gonna have you move in with me, ya know, so you don't have to worry about paying rent or anything."

It was silent for a while.

"It was supposed to kinda be a surprise."

I smacked him. And I smacked him hard.

"YOU DON'T STEAL A GIRLS UNDERWEAR TO GET HER TO MOVE IN WITH YOU!" He flinched at the loudness of my voice.

"Look, Luce I'm sorry!"

"You better have that place spotless when I get there. And I want my bed in there by tonight, you got it?"

"Wait, you'll actually move in?" He asked that question with such disbelief that I thought he was going to choke on whatever spit he had in his mouth.

"Just do what I told you, you idiot," I said rolling my eyes. He grinned brightly as I started to walk past him and toward the guild doors. He jogged to place himself in front of me again.

"Thanks, Luce!" he yelled joyously throwing his arms around me and pulling away quickly keeping his hand on my arm. "You won't regret this! I swear!" He leaned in and... and he kissed me quickly on the lips. "I'll see you later, Luce!" he yelled running out of the guild waving goodbye.

That was the day I got my first kiss. It was also the first day of living with Natsu Dragneel. That day was precisely one year, three months, and fourteen hours away from the day I became Mrs. Lucy Dragneel.

I wonder how hard it will be to tell my two year old daughter that the reason Papa and I are together is because he stole all of my underwear.

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**END NOTE: how was it? I was thinking of making a sequel of sorts in the future. Maybe it'll be the process of the relationship. But thanks for reading and putting up with my craziness! Sorry if I missed any errors! Review if you want to! It would be appreciated though :3 **

**~Alice-chan**


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